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Campus survival tactics

Girls on a night out. Just like them, campus girls love to have fun at ll costs.. PHOTO BY EDDIE CHICCO

Girls on a night out. Just like them, campus girls love to have fun at ll costs.. PHOTO BY EDDIE CHICCO

Young and free. For many campusers, this is the phase of enjoying life to the maximum. Afterall there are no rules and no responsibilities. But how does one go through a semester of partying  with all the costs involved, writes  Jonathan Adengo

Campus has already opened for second semester, and by now most of the campusers have settled in. For those who are finalising their campus education, don’t celebrate yet because it’s not over, in fact the hustle has just began. You will miss that allowance you used to get at campus. Those ‘Khaki’ envelopes you shunned in your first year will be your hand bags. You will paint the streets brown with them. If you have not been paying attention to the news lately, (which I know you haven’t), the job market is not as kind as you think it is. Jobs are scarce and from the look of it, older people are not about to retire. If anything, they are generating new birth certificates to cut down their age, who wants to retire yet the country still has money for them to loot?

For the freshers, this being the second semester, you have now learnt a lesson or two about surviving through campus. You have learnt that having two meals a day is a waste of money. Some of you probably have the rolex guy’s number on your speed dial by now. Unless your father is Sudhir or has access to government funds, chances are you have tasted what it means to be broke, and it’s not a good feeling. Some of you would rather starve and later be seen at Alfredoz on their Wednesday campus night.

Usually during mid semester or towards the end, many will literally auction their assets, which will not be much more than a woofer, to survive till the end of semester.

At campus, you are literally on your own and babes, have realised that sticking to one boyfriend is not enough, there are bigger fish to fry out there. To them exchange is no robbery, with the demands of being at campus, they have realised that Bad Black is not that bad at all, if her tactics are anything to go by, the word broke disappears from your vocabulary.

Girls ask that why would a beautiful chick spend her money accessorising her room with a TV screen and refrigerator yet she can manipulate some old guy to do it for her? In fact most campus relationships are for convenience and few become serious. “What do you need a campus boyfriend for if Uncle Bob, can cater for your bills, air time, buy you clothes, give you a car and fuel to keep you on the road,” chicks ask. No wonder there are more chicks that drive than guys at campus.

There are babes who will do anything just to live the lavish life. At Mubs, which is quite gifted with many beauties, it’s party time everyday of the week. In the evenings, cars will park, and then you see babes dressed in skimpy outfits disappearing inside them. These will then tour the night spots that the city has to offer. They will then be dropped back in the wee hours of the morning. For the bold ones, they will do a “walk of shame” back to their hostels when the sun is out.

Relationships are worse for the guys with chicks in the same hostel; you have learnt another survival tip by now. “Never, date a chick in your hostel.” Her love is too much, in fact it’s choking. She will visit your room for breakfast in the morning, pass by in the afternoon for lunch and then ask if you are going out in the evening, of course she will have to tag along.  Don’t be deceived to think that it is love, check your wallet. If it’s empty then you have to flee.

Other babes have employed different survival tricks, they now parade the kikomando stall in groups, to disguise their motive. Some turn into Muslims, flocking the Rolex guy with veils on their heads. These Hajjatis cannot even be recognised by their boyfriends. But that is not the case for every campus. Kyambogo chicks have been known to be very bold. A chick will raid the kikomando joint and order for katogo, and chips before disappearing to wherever she came from. Some of them even carry their dishes to collect their food.

At Mubs, some hostels like Akamwesi that have the liberty of getting room service, usually wait for the man moving through the corridors shouting “sumbi sumbi…” and then they dash for the door to buy whatever the man is selling. Others call the rolex guy and tell him to deliver to the room number without getting out to be spotted at the rolex joint.

Makerere babes especially the ones in Kikoni cook, and as such love to go out to buy their tomatoes, onions, and other food stuffs. They storm the market, buy what they want before unleashing their Nakumatt, Uchumi, and Tuskys polythene bags, which they gladly display for all to see on their way back to hostel – as if they are from a super market.

Others usually love to send the hostel workers to buy whatever weird cravings they might need without going out for fear of being seen. They love to pretend to be well off yet they are doing badly. Others have literally renamed all the food joints around their hostel with names of famous eating places. For example, if someone is eating at a hideout in Kikoni, they will say that I am off to Serena. In fact their love for “thips and thickeni” is no secret. Enterprising people have taken advantage of this and they set up stalls by the roadside. You will find such places flooded with campusers in the evening hours.

Campus is a place for you to have the time of your life, and it will probably be the last time you will be surrounded by people your own age who share similar beliefs and interests. This is usually the most amazing time of your life, but remember there are consequences for all your actions. And what’s more, you can deceive everyone once there, but you can never lie to yourself.

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