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Being Kalumba for a day

1. Pastors, pastors you don’t stop amusing me. Pastor Ssemanda of Nakasongola Baptist Church goes like, “Praise Gad brothers and sisters.” What’s up with the American accent? Now God has become Gad!

2. Financial institutions publish their balance sheets in the newspapers declaring that they made Shs80b in the financial year 2011-2012, yet their workers earn a mere 500k per month and yet working for long hours! Kyaba too much.

3. This world is unfair. Europeans have problems like addiction to shopping and eating junk food hence suffering from obesity while Africans suffer from poverty, hunger and malnutrition … tobimanyi?

4. What happened to names like Proscovia and Scolarstica? We now have Alicia, Mya, Cindy … bloody wannabes.

5. Is there any normal Ugandan who loves Umeme? These fellows decided to load shed us on the night of the Champions League Finals. The only alternative was the irritating radio commenters. Twakowa.

6. Over the weekend, you buy a new series and inserting it in the DVD player, you discover it’s translated. These so called guys have even translated cartoons like Tom and Jerry and Ben 10 can you imagine?

7. Women do not know what they want. When you do not give her money she will say you are stingy (mukono gamu). When you are busy making money, she says all she is interested in is to spend time with you and not your money! This is madness.

8. What is wrong with today’s parents? Is it because of global warming? How can you take your child of P.1 to a boarding school and the six-months-old baby to a day care? That’s crazy.

9. Ragga Dee is nowadays doing more remixes, by replicating international songs and coming up with local versions like Zina his version of Mr G’s Swaggerific, One More Night, copied from Busy Signal and Ma Ladies, his version of Ayo technology. Man, have you run out of ideas?

10. Telecom companies should stop cheating customers by deductions of unused airtime e.g. when messages are not delivered, when you call customer care and when calls do not get through!

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