To Top

When will Sqoop throw a mega bash for its fans?

1.Banange where the hell is GNL? Oh I’m told you can catch the “famous rapper” hawking televisions and Airtel airtime on our television screens! Way to go dude!

2.And Bobi Wine? The last we saw him was during his wedding day all dressed in a white suit complete with a purple tie looking like a peacock! Mbu superstar!

3.Kati where did Pastor Ssempa disappear too? Mbu apparently he only shouts loudest when the gay topic is brought up! But when corruption topics are brought up, dude is silent! Wabula today’s pastors….

4.And apart from book reviewers, who the hell has read Barbie’s book that she authored entitled simanya Tales of a Village Belle? Mbu Brig Kasirye Gwanga after reading that book is hunting for Barbie to shoot her for boring the old man stiff…

5. Where the hell is the tsunami Besigye promised us? Goodness me, I have waited for that tsunami complete with a tent, blanket, warm clothing and tinned food but wapi!

6. Can anyone tell me where the hell a true African woman is? Please, I don’t mean the corporate kind that earn Shs750,000 but drive a Rav 4, sleep in a Shs600k house and have names like Jacinta, “but you can call me Jacy!”

7. Banange where the hell is a good song on our FM stations … No. I don’t mean … silina valu valu wewe … akina valu valu weeee….! What does that mean? Mbu Chameleone is also still figuring it out!

8.Where can a son of man find a plate of food that costs Shs2,000! Even ekikomando nowadays costs Shs3,500! What do they put in there?

9.And when will newspapers stop writing stories about the circus of whether Peter Miles is dating Cleo or not! That is no fresh news at all! What is fresh news is that Mega D finally has no album to launch this year … hallelujah!

10. Banange when will Sqoop Mag throw a mega bash for its fans? Tuswala banange!

More in Columnists