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When a name is all you need to attract customers

Once upon a time, I thought that the hardest thing about setting up a good business was having the capital. And much as I may not necessarily rule out this idea, in my opinion, I think finding a catchy name has proved to be hard, especially, in the entertainment industry (bars, clubs blah blah blah).

I mean seriously when one looks at some of these joints, they cannot help but wonder at what could have crossed the owner’s minds when finding the most appropriate name.

Let us start with “Virgin Island”. Okay seriously? For starters, how many virgins do we have in this country that we should deem it fit to have a supposed “island” named after them? And if there is a good number kale, how many of them would perpetually hang out at the Virgin Island? And if they did, would it be the best place for the “virgins’?

I shall leave it at that before I break a rib laughing at all the possible answers and move on to the popular “Sombreros” in Jinja ahem! Now I think the owners wanted to be creative by getting the word “somber”, playing around with the spelling ka little little after which they have it topped up with “reros” oba to achieve what? I might even be giving them credit for nothing nga they just misspelt that word. Sheer disaster just. But even if they wanted to allude to being somber, when have you ever walked into a club and remained in a “somber” mood? Besides who would want to step into a happening place and find a dull environment like the seemingly original word “somber” would suggest? Liars just!

And then there is that place in Fort Portal, mbu “Heartbeat”, lolest! Ain’t it kinda obvious that the heart beats all the time as long as one is alive? So what is it about a club and the heart beating? Too much circus riyalle!

Now let’s move on to “Amnesia”. Indeed with crisp liquor, good music, serious happening etc, the amnesia could be an end result, right? However sometimes we do not want the truth spelt out to our faces as we prepare to hang out hence the word “amnesia” could be a little traumatising, discouraging eeish!

Then there is that hanging word Ambience that was accorded to a certain club in Masaka. Ha! I can imagine the owners of this place imagined that with such a name came “classy”, “plush”, “sophisticated” etc. However they forgot that it also came along with confusion. I mean there are all sorts of “ambiences”. So which is which? Cosy ambience, stuffy ambience, name it? Also then, what exactly is it about the “Ambience”? Basically the plain word sends too many questions to the brain which is oba exhausting?

As for “Mish Mash”, the word itself paints a picture of a squashed up person. As if one has to first get mashed up before they set in or set in to get mashed up…. Aaha! The name attracts a certain class of mish mashed peeps, wouldn’t you agree??

But let’s move on to “Big Mike”. Big what? Just know that I have gone to that place in search of anything that fits the two words, “Big Mike” to no avail. I mean there is nothing like an extraordinary karaoke night coupled by state of the art big mike’s (as in microphones). So why the name oba?

Finally this chapter will end at “Tickles and Giggles” for now. This joint’s name has always had me laughing not giggling per say because in this case, what tickles and what giggles? Is it the music, good food, liquor or the people? I mean if I were to think about the details of this name, I might as well just vamoose especially if I am not in the mood to giggle after being tickled.

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