To Top

What’s your name? Mbu Balibaseka Gilbert Bukenya

1.Banange Ugandans! Mbu Cerinah Nebanda! Everyone including Papa Cindy is talking about Cerinah! But doesn’t Papa Cindy guy just look lonely … like a ka abandoned chimpanzee on one of those Horizon buses coming from Kabale? Just asking people…

2.Naye Chameleone with drama! Now it’s some random guy mbu setting himself ablaze at his crib and later losing his life! But Muhammad Nsereko, why don’t you also investigate this death? Why investigate only Nebanda? Mbu Nsereko has said… “Nawe Kalumba when we are talking about serious things, why do you bring in jokers like Chameleone!” Ouchhhh!

3.But Ugandans! Mbu also Theodore Ssekikiubo, Muhammad Nsereko and co are now “investigators!” Wabula God please have mercy on our country! Owange Theodore, can you investigate for us why Barnabas Tinkasiimire always talks like someone has denied him entrance to Chameleone’s concert? Yes Nsereko, investigate that!

4.And who can name their kids simanya… Theodore, Barnabas? Honestlyyyy!!! What’s your name? Mbu Sylver Kyagulangi! What name is Sylver…honestly! I thought the metal silver was spelt as SILVER.

5.What’s your name? Mbu Balibaseka Gilbert Bukenya. Seriously?

6.The MP for Obongi County in Arua District is called Kaps Hassan Fungaroo! No I’m not making this up!

7.Our Minister of Agriculture is called… wait for it … Tress Bucyanayandi!

8.Speaking of agriculture, with this rainy situation farmers must have had a bumper harvest … not so Papa Cindy! Is it Cindy oba Cidy! Fungaroo help me out here please.

9.Btw, what befell the former Blu*3 “vocalist” Cindy? Mbu taking pictures of her, the baby and Mzungu hubby in newspapers! Owange, Cindy you’re not Posh and Beckham! You are just a ka  babe born on Lubas Road in Mbale, with songs that can’t be even played on Channel O! Ouch Kalumba that is so mean!

10.Speaking of Channel O, to see how rubbish our artistes are, when Channel O “accidently” plays their bu videos, they normally go like… “We are now international! The world is now into our music…blah blah blah!” Imagine South Africans being into Mowzey and Weasel’s songs … and we talk…and talk … and talk … and talk … and talk.

Robert Kalumba

More in Columnists