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The acute angle : The truth behind dates

All women like to be strong and independent until the bill arrives. You will notice the shift in attention the moment the bill is presented. Her eyes will wander into the ceiling as her fingers navigate every strand of hair like she didn’t see anything.
Her attention will be on her phone the whole time and after the dude pays, she will be back from the ‘dead’ in an instant. The madame has been rescued, ladies and gentlemen. You see women were programmed to think that a guy will always have the bill taken care of. She knows that if a guy invites her out, he has to foot the bill by default. Not all of them though, some of them leave an allowance of fear that the imbecile who brought them out could run short of money and turn to them for a fix. They dread that moment though.
As her teeth sink into food whose names she can’t pronounce, her deepest prayer is that God anoints her date’s wallet and she avoids the embarrassment of the year. In the meantime, Miss Universe who is rocking Gucci from head to toe only has eka 20k in her bag. Never get fooled by the way these girls look classy and all, they ball on a string budget. That 20k is meant to deliver her from any mess on her date. That money will whisk her away into hiding in case the date turns sour.
But more relevantly, the ladies use dates as a playground to weigh character, to project into the future. Dates allow them to open up through conversation and to basically connect with someone at intricate levels. It’s not even  about the words that are coming out of a guy’s mouth that they are following. It’s the body language. Your hand gestures and lip movements are under surveillance. She will file every promise, every lie you tell her over a dinner date. Obviously not all of them are this critical. Others are just meant to destroy anything on the menu.
On the other hand, all a guy is contemplating is whether to use a fork and knife or to go traditional on his meal. For some, all they can see is a sumptuous ‘meal’ served in human form and the one on the menu. Most men will choose to have both. All a man cares about is what is on his plate unless of course the food on the other plate is potentially endangering to his wallet, but all is good.
A man doesn’t bring you out of the wilderness in Namugongo only for you to say “I am full” halfway into salads. A dude can’t be holding one drumstick of chicken in one hand and another drumstick in the other hand and a chick is busy playing with mayonnaise as if oba what. We both came for a mission not a charity cause. He will watch you play around with his resources but some guys will expect ‘payment’ at the end of the date if you know what I mean. He won’t want to hear your jazz about it being that time of the month. He will carry you like a telephone mast to his muzigo in Kiwatule with no questions asked.  Nice weekend, guys.

  • Fellisha

    hahahahaha! This had me rolling!

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