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The acute angle : Ladies, forget the Alejandros

Telenovela love is superficial. Why can’t Ugandan ladies see this already? Chicks are busy comparing their beloved Sebulibas with the Alejandros and the Rodrigo’s in these telenovela series making it ridiculously hard for our chaps to make a lasting impression on them. Their expectations are so high that they expect Mr Right to have bushy eyebrows, a lions’ mane for hair, a Hercules body build and blue eyes. Those are falsehoods my dear friends so ignore them.
If your beloved Sebuliba has a capsule size pimple resting on his forehead, kiss it with affection and love. You had better wake up from your dream because there is no way you are running into those Venezuelan species on those taxis heading to Namungoona from town. Those soaps on television are lying to you sweetheart. Mbu Alejandro is riding through the woods on a horse to come and pick the love of his life Paloma and you are there blushing foolishly like some love struck puppy. What you should be waiting for is the love of your life Sebuliba to jump onto a canoe and row from Bwaise to come and give you a visit. That is the closest thing to romantic in Jennifer Musisi’s city so wake up.
What is even more surprising with these soaps on TV is that you will find this guy Rodrigo who is supposed to be in abject poverty with hair gel leaking off his face and a Ugandan chick will get smitten mbu “kyoka Spanish guys are cute”. Really??? These guys are wet and need to be cleaned up. Simple. So what if Sebuliba is spotting a 16th century marine cut. It’s called being kempt and it’s the reality sadly, so some of you chics should take a chill pill.
Even these things of dancing in rain simanya after Alejandro has reunited with Paloma after being apart for so many years should be left in those soaps.Mbu they look cute together. What nonsense is that?? If normal people do that, they are in the preliminary stages of madness and if symptoms persist, bookings into Butabika Safari Lodge will soon be made. There is no way Sebuliba is going to catch a cold in the name of love. Its called being realistic.
You dream of having a guy such as Alejandro who has inherited his family’s wealth and has servants who obey his every word yet truth be told, that won’t be happening in your life anytime soon. It’s too bad that the only thing that your beloved Sebuliba inherited was his family name, but  the guy truly loves you, so stand in there. Be modest and allow him to work his way up from under the Tata Lorry as a mechanic to a life of affluence that you forever desire. Now these ladies will ask what they would be doing with a mechanic. It’s that kind of attitude that will see you expire on the shelf my dear. Anyway, reality is that the ka Sebuliba you despise a lot for not conforming to your idea of a Latino Mr Right might just be the one, so carry his small body to your parents for kwanjula.

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