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The acute angle : Kampala through the lens

Precision at its best. This is what happens when a kalooli (marabou stork) looks down and patiently waits before delivering a white package onto the head of an unsuspecting chap. I wouldn’t want to imagine getting a Monday afternoon facial from the generosity of a Kalooli fart. It’s simply gross. Clever and fun stuff I think, at least for the kaloolis up there. Certainly not for the bank manager who could have been returning from lunch on his way back to office. That’s embarrassing.
There is so much that goes around Kampala streets that our eyes play blind to. Maybe we are so busy focusing on other things that our eyes miss so much detail. There is this same guy at Pioneer Mall seriously making all these calls but panics and vanishes when some three chaps start walking closer to him. That is Asuman. A virtual businessman with no clear indication of what he does but poses as a land broker and has no physical address. The three chaps camp around Pioneer Mall parking lot every Monday and Wednesday to waylay him into their trap. Asuman owes them money and it’s on those two days that Asuman comes in that area. He is too smart and these loan sharks will have to up their game if they are to ever catch him.
Then there is this babe who I suppose works for one of the banks on Rwenzori Courts. She has worn the same hair for about three months and she wears a scarf around her head every time she is crossing Kampala Road on her way to the Old Taxi Park. I believe she is dodging someone. Probably an ex boyfriend who is stationed at Centenary Bank (Mapeera Branch). She has been going to the same Indian Ramesh on Avemar for her movies and is always tormenting him for movies at a discount. She buys two series and one movie every Friday and just got Season Three of House Of Cards. She is particular about what she watches.
Then we have some three BFF’s (Best Friends Forever). One of them looks like a Karen and the other two look like a Julie and a Mary. Karen is obviously the most styled up of the three. She is always suited up from Monday to Thursday so I suppose she is the one lucky to have found a job. Her other friends look sluggish in dressing and I can imagine they are still on the job hunt hustle. The three will be at Nandos every Tuesday for that “Buy Two Get One Free” pizza bonanza and order their customary Margarita special. They down those things with no drinks whatsoever. It’s a dry affair for the three ‘bestos’. Movie night at Acacia Mall is nothing without them when movies are at a half price. They are certain to be there and every other place that offers a discount.
There is a guy whom ladies gush over at Oasis Mall. He drives a sleek white Range Rover and works hard to make sure every Kampala lady notices him. His mother, who is the owner of the car lends him the car to go buy some high protein dog food at Nakumatt. The dashing chap you see in shades with all these bags is most certainly carrying dog food not expensive liquor. He is supposed to return the car to his mum before jumping on a bike. As you start to panic and wonder if I saw you leave a lodge with the woman who isn’t your wife, my question to you is … Have you checked your votability? Anyway nice weekend guys.

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