I am not sure I want to write about this but when offered such space and given an opportunity to pen down all your dating mares, you cannot forget this coming milestone.
After all consultations with counsellors, friends and myself, I finally got a kick in the butt.
You see, Marcus was everything that could keep me from sliding back into history. I mean who could go back to baby daddy when all was smooth? This handsome figure stayed in my life for a while. He offered all the support I needed – moral, emotional and physical, despite the fact that his baby mama was on the side-line, yet the main dish.
Even when he clearly stated what we had to remain casual friends with benefits, I was unreservedly convinced that he would change his mind someday. Besides his great physique, he had manners that only an orphan could afford.
After a while, I broke my rules and in the middle of an intimate moment announced my love for him. That was but the truth. I was surprised at myself. How did those three words just slip out of my mouth? What was I even thinking? The words just made our moment of intimacy dissipate like steam.
He froze, but did not want to make me feel bad about what I had just blurted out. He hugged me really tight, breathed heavily and buried his head in my chest. I could feel the pain in his heart as he hit the bed post with his fist.
“It is very complicated Sweetlips. Truth is, I like you a lot. I enjoy every moment I spend with you but somehow I am betrothed to another,” he noted in between little sighs. I understood his pressures. It was really hard to deal with two women, one, the mother of your child, and the other, a seductive girl who has suddenly fallen in love with you.
He went on: “I love you. I have loved you all this while. I just can’t say it. Ethel, can you imagine Linda wants another child. She says she doesn’t want to produce her second born at 35 so she wants a baby this year or the next,” he said, and cleared his throat thereafter.
In all honesty, like Linda, I do not want to have my second child at 30. So, I’m not playing games with him anymore. Our last great conversation wasn’t even about us. For all these months I had been creating scenes in my mind. I imagined us with a beautiful baby girl strolling on Kampala streets. He had promised me one in two years and here he was, not ready for such responsibility. “If he could not give Linda a child, what would make me think I was that special?” I thought.
The conversation was followed by immense silence which finally sent the two of us into heavy slumber. The following morning saw me lying in bed, half dead, half asleep. Highlights of all moments we shared crowded my mind. We went to the movies hand in hand, kissed while 50 Shades Darker made couples in the cinema hall quite uncomfortable, and made others shy. He had at one point abandoned his woman in a hotel, with litres of fuel to jump start my stuck car in the wee hours of the night.
He had also brought over lunch on several occasions if he noticed I hadn’t left my bed all day. Whenever I needed financial help, all I had to do was dial his number. His smiles were infectious. He was too obedient for my liking.
Marcus woke me up with a kiss, asking what I was thinking about. “I am going back to baby daddy,” I quickly replied. I had every reason to. With baby daddy I do not have to beg him for a child. He is dying to have another, and not with any woman but me. When I finally say yes to his constant proposals, he is going to carry me on his head like a trophy he has won.
He will shower me with kisses. I think he will be careful he does not lose me again. Even when my love for him is far-fetched, it will flow and overflow over time. I will learn to love him may be and the two of us will raise our daughter and also give her a playmate. I am seriously reconsidering running back to baby daddy.