1. Is it me oba don’t you feel like slapping that ka girl who’s on the Ky’akabbi TV Ads on NTV? Mbu… “Text your number and you too could have a chance to win a TV…It’s a wrap yo!” Wrap my foot! Why do Ugandans love “forcing” mbu they are Americans?
2. Ugandans with “forcing” life mbu they live a western lifestyle! Ask a fella on the weekend where they are going, they say, “I’m heading to a sauna in Zzana!” No offence to Zzana but honestly can Zzana have a sauna?
3. You ask a chick where they are going to shop, they go, “Oh we are going to D’ella Boutique in Bweyogerere!” Honestly can a small container shop selling mivumba be called a boutique? And what the hell is D’ella? Trying to sound Hollywood are we?
4. You find a babe in Guvnor and you go, “What will you drink?” Mbu “Smash them in the face cocktail” Smash them in the what? No wonder you are single!
5. You find a guy in the barbershop and he goes: “How much is your haircut and do you also do pedicure and manicure for men?” Honestly wouldn’t Kabaka Mwanga chop off such a dude’s head? Pedicure for a guy!
6. You find a dude in a nightclub and you ask what drink they are having so that you buy them one and they go, “Redds please!” No offence but Redds? Is your name Cynthia?
7. You ask a dude what drink they will have and they go, “Black Label please!” Honestly how did a dude who went to Kyotera Mixed Secondary School know about Black Label? Kyoka Chameleone!
8. You ask a ka babe what school she went too, they go, “Oh my secondary was in Manchester College in Lweza.” Manchester and Lweza! Isn’t that like Sizzaman telling us that he grew up on Weetabix?
9. You ask a television presenter what their name is and they go, “MC Kats!” What the hell is Kats?! What happened to solid names like Drake Ssekeba or Musajja wa’Kabaka Meddi Nsereko?
10. You ask a chap what team he supports and he goes; “cherusea!” Isn’t that team called Chelsea? Kyoka Mowzey!