Connect
To Top

Dating mares: Why my friends will forever stop at the bar

sexy-girl-at-bar-counter

I had been in relationship with Jude for four years, despite the fact that we were total opposites. Then, I was only a student when I met him so we enjoyed life to its fullest.
He did not have a paying job and I implored my elder sister to hire him in her firm to practice there, until she discovered our relationship which made him uncomfortable and he quit.
At this point, Marilyn, my best friend of 15 years, who many knew as my sister, was nowhere in the picture.
Two years down the road, she re-surfaced claiming she was busy job-hunting. We kept meeting at our favourite joints around town.
She put up a clear act that I forgot she had hurt me in the past, when she made out with my then campus boyfriend.
The first time she came home to check on me, I only spoke about Jude and showed her a few pictures of him. She was very much aware of my love life and what I was going through. She cursed him on a daily, for mistreating me and was utterly furious and swore to get back at him for being such a loser.
One time, she gave me a call and asked me to go to her place so we would go hang out (to which I obliged. We happened to get lost in the music and ended up retiring late.
Marilyn asked me to sleep over. All that time, my parents were wondering what had become of me but could not ask questions because I had made my “I am old enough” point and clear.
The following day, we passed by Jude’s home and that is when I introduced her to him. He was furious because I was meant to sleep over and instead went to my friend’s.
Marilyn assured me he was older, ugly and “classless” and wondered why I had dated him in the first place. I was literally hurt, but since I had been withdrawing from him, I brushed it off.
A month later I left the country and entrusted her with my ATM card, so that each time I needed money, she would wire it to me (that’s how much I trusted her). However, some things just didn’t seem right. Each time Jude changed his profile picture, he cropped off an anonymous beautiful woman’s cornrows. I kept saving those pictures.

Holding cocktails
I remember at one point I wanted to buy Marilyn a smart phone and she told me she had already bought one. She posted pictures of her at the stadium watching a match, and others cruising on a boat at a place I guessed was Jinja Nile Resort – I did not comment.
It only tickled my brains when I realized Jude had whatsapp profile pictures in the same places. I suddenly remembered the time I called him and all he said was, “I’m watching a match, I will call back when I get home” and before I knew it, he hang up.
The next time I called he assured me he was heading to an island and the network on the boat wasn’t clear. I then gave up trying to get in touch. All this while, Marilyn was quiet too. She would type cold ‘hi’ and ‘heys’ and that was it. I did not want to imagine things, so I let it pass.
When I returned, she picked me from the airport but was preoccupied with her phone. She kept swiping away all calls and making sure I had no chance of using it to take a selfie, saying her battery was low.
She asked to stay with me at her crib, which I thought was a great offer. One fateful day she picked me from work and took me to her fiancée’s home. It was a celebration of all April babies and I happen to be one. Clad in twin white little dresses, we headed to the venue.
While there, Jude called. When I told him I was with Marilyn, he grew restless; he kept calling every now and then, perhaps to keep me too busy to have a conversation about him with Marilyn. When I got fed up and started ignoring his calls, he texted me: “I wish you knew, you would leave that place running, bare feet.” This was strange to the eyes. Something triggered in me and I headed back to the room where Marilyn was.
I asked her a few questions and she made me think I was being paranoid. The hare in me made up stories, which provoked her into telling me the truth—they had been dating. I managed to hold back a bucket of tears which I only poured out when I reached a nearby church. I yelled!
That kind of betrayal was hard to fathom. Shockingly, the two went on till they realised sex and money alone weren’t enough to build a relationship. I may have been blind before but much as Marilyn made me realise what I had lost, I have learnt to leave my friends at the bar. If they are to see my fiancée, they will need to look him up on the web.
But above all, I think no woman should spill secrets of their relationships like I am doing, because you never know what your audience’s motive is. I used to wonder why my friend Sharon only tells me about the fights she has with her boyfriend and leaves out the fact that he bought her a Toyota Golf.
Funnily, Jude relentlessly wants me back and I am thinking of what gift to welcome him back with – without forgetting I am a very vengeful person.

ewatsemwa@ug.nationmedia.com

More in Columnists