I had never vouched for the Ethics minister Simon Lokodo because I knew and thought some things, are hard to erase. How for example, can someone control certain urges which are inbuilt just because there is a pornography detector? Makes no sense at all!
But now that he has said spoken about sex and food (one of which is my best topics by the way), I am rethinking my decision. He recently said that in Kampala, sex is done without respect, anywhere, anyhow, anytime, with any body, especially at lunch breaks where people go to lodges for sex instead of food.
Without respect? I am not sure what he meant because in my understanding, sex with respect is having intercourse with your gomesi or hijab on, fully veiled with only a pair of eyeballs peeping.
Anywhere? Somehow I am inclined to think that like cocks and hens, we jump on each other on the streets of Kampala when “charged”.
Anyhow? I also don’t understand this because I know there is no formula for sex. So, whatever comes to mind is what people normally do. I remember when my friend was getting married, I told her to abandon the missionary style and if possible hang in the ceiling.
But yes, like he said, people have sex anytime. This is not a big deal.
Finally, he spoke about lunch time sex (May be, just may be it happens). Not that I’m a fan of day-time sex but I imagine most men, especially smart cheating married men do this. To begin with, how will a woman find out her husband is cheating if he is home by 5pm, sometimes before she even gets home?
Till now, my aunt is nursing that kind of betrayal. My uncle was in time for everything at home. They had been married for 15 years and the two have four beautiful children. My aunt was a very contented Muganda; all her neighbours envied her.
When we lost a relative, we converged in the village for burial. My uncle’s wife spotted two pairs of children who looked exactly like hers. She was not bothered because she knew they were probably children in my grandfather’s homestead.
In no time a neighbour came around and tapped her. She whispered in her ears, ”Jane, those four are your husband’s children. He constructed for them and their mother a very big house.”
Aunty was in shock, she called me to her side, pointed to a mat on the verandah and ordered me to bring it plus a pillow. Speechless, she spread the mat and slept off – just like that. I thought she was forcing the reality to become a dream in her sleep.
Gossip later had it that Uncle only visited his other family during lunch breaks from work.
In his confession, he said all his four love children were conceived at lunch time.
So, Lokodo is not far from the truth after all. He is 50 per cent right but hey, don’t start watching whoever drives out of your office premises during lunch time. He or she could only be choosing food over sex.