To Top

When goats go platinum


From Mityana to the world, who knew? Goats have finally got the recognition they deserve. Normally relegated to farms and people’s plates as stew, goats never drew attention. That they could make a profitable business venture was never a doubt, but to turn peasants into overnight millionaires was never something anyone thought of. You know, it’s as easy as getting a few goats to mate in your backyard and before you know it, a bunch of kids could rake in billions. Value for money right there. Where have we been looking all along?
The genius that is MP Margaret Muhanga was already reaping big as far back as 2011.A few goats sold got her about, let’s see, a jaw dropping Shs10bn. Insanity right there. To think that we call many of our friends ‘goats’ without knowing the value they uphold. I am sorry if I ever called you a goat for pissing me off, I realize now how valuable of a fool you were at the time. The stakes are high now.
But now Margaret tell us, just how many goats did you trade off to get 10 billion shillings? 100, 500, 2,000? We are curious.
We can’t waste away at our current jobs with lucrative business ventures happening right under our nose. These goats, are they from South Africa or Netherlands maybe? Did they fly in First Class via Fly Emirates? I am puzzled. I am not too sure our bu local goats raised from the pockets of Mityana could earn you that much. Maybe they do. Yours could be a bunch of high class overfed goats with lots of standards. The kind to think chewing grass was a downgrade. The kind to think the whole vegetarian act was a drag, an inconvenience. Do they use filters or exaggerated make-up before they go up for sale?
Maggie, please tell us.
There could be something wrong Kisekka is doing wrong down at his farm. His goats are not productive and constantly have mood swings. Milk production is at an all-time low. You are smart Maggie, chaps be crying for bailouts yet you have a money-minting project in your backyard.
But wait, I realize that as their values shoots up; my lunch menu could drastically change to something less fancy. It’s sadly what happens when goats go platinum. When goats start walking out in Abryanz collections and raising standards, we the wanainchi could lose out. But guys, don’t you just love our country. There is always something to surprise you. Keep on Maggie. Uganda Zaabu.


More in Acute Angle

  • The acute angle: Queen of Katwe haters, go hang

    I honestly find movie critics annoying. They kill it for everyone who wants to watch a movie. Sometimes their criticism is...

    Christine NakalungiOctober 7, 2016
  • The acute angle : Of earthquakes and cowards

    Eh that Saturday earthquake shook me! It shook literally everything inside me. I could hear the cheap lunch do rounds in...

    Christine NakalungiSeptember 16, 2016
  • The Cranes make history

    What a week to be Ugandan! I never thought this moment would ever come. We are in Gabon, ladies and gentlemen...

    Christine NakalungiSeptember 9, 2016
  • Oh hail my rolex guy

    Do you know how many problems would be solved in this country if our Rolex guys were given attention? Maybe, a...

    Christine NakalungiAugust 26, 2016
  • The acute angle: Ellah is simply a disgrace

    Last Saturday, Kenyan afro-pop group Sauti Sol thrilled hundreds of fans who gathered at the Sheraton fans for the Club Mega...

    Christine NakalungiAugust 19, 2016
  • The acute angle : Dude, get off the damn mic

    The only thing worse than giving Ugandans political power is giving them a microphone. Mbu “hello hello are you there?” Like...

    Christine NakalungiAugust 12, 2016
  • When role models let you down

    I can imagine there is no better feeling than driving by a huge building named after you. The mere thought of...

    Christine NakalungiJuly 29, 2016
  • This Kiwa-Goodlyfe saga is absurd!

    Early this week, the police issued arrest warrants for popular singers Radio and Weasel. This is because the two have continually...

    Christine NakalungiJuly 22, 2016
  • Always stay in your lane

    “Nothing is expensive, you are just not the target market,” that’s the harsh reality my dearies. Prices of beer at Riders...

    Christine NakalungiJuly 8, 2016