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The Acute Angle : At war with yourself

Have you ever wondered if the life you are living now could have been someone else’s? Do you ever feel like you are in the wrong job, the wrong body and probably studying the wrong course? You stare at yourself in the mirror and go like, “this isn’t me”. You are simply not you and what people see is what they want to see. You are their person. You could be a top level manager in some firm and what people see is a comfortable wealthy man who is good at what he does. You give them what they want to see. You will flash that smile, drive around in a fancy car and have all these people stare at you with envy. They will want to be you, but you do not want to be you. You hate you. You hate your life but you cannot tell anyone because people will think you are crazy. People at work will celebrate you for being good at what you do but the truth is that you hate what you do. You will find that you have never done what you would love to do and what you love to do is what would bring you in touch with your true self.
The real you will remain in the shadows as the fake you takes control over you. It is conflict everyday of your life. That small inner voice that tells you to go and break barriers and achieve great things is actually who we are. We choose to ignore that inner voice. We choose safety rather than adventure. The fear of adventure cripples us. It is what the real you wants. The real you wants you to look beyond the office job or the little happiness you are enjoying at the moment and go search for independence or glory, but no. You sit at your desk, in class or anywhere else scripting a story of regret.
The fashion designer in you will constantly fight with the banker that everyone sees in you for the light of day. Everyone sees you as this banker but not yourself. Your true self is masked and shelved for someone that you are not. You might see yourself as a businessman conquering the world but find yourself bonded to your ka job at some organisation. You want to be you but you are struggling to be you because embracing yourself might be scary. You stay on and hear your boss shout at you everyday of your life yet you would rather be somewhere at peace creating something magical for yourself.
These are things many of us face but choose to keep to ourselves. We caress our dreams to sleep as we lose who we are. You are faced with all these battles as you try to figure out who you are and what your purpose in life is, but ask yourself if you are happy. If you are not happy with your life, this might be the right time to change it. I am starting to change mine so what is your excuse? Nice weekend guys.

 

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