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The acute angle : A child’s perspective


“Ian, what is that big round thing on your face?” a curious little cousin asked me recently, and of course, I could not tell him it was just a disgusting pimple sitting on my face rent-free. The thing was far from attractive, so I just had to lie to the poor child. I told the child it was a sign that God is watching over us and his would grow soon. I died a little inside while saying this. The child, however young, did not buy my story and gave me this look of “I know you are lying”. He kept staring at me, paused for a second before he brought my ego on its knees with a subtle insult.
“Your round thing looks different from others I have seen,” he said. I knew this child had called me ugly in a well-packaged way but because he only stood at something below one foot tall. I chose to just ignore. Children are innocent, curious as hell and just tell you the way things are without mincing words. This world is so messed up that the only genuine truth you will find these days is from a child. Adults are always busy trying to tear themselves apart with lies while a child cannot be bought.
A child will look at their mum ‘fighting’ in her dressing mirror with make-up and feel pity. What the child is witnessing is a painting class in his mum’s bedroom. “Mummy why are you painting yourself?” a child will ask curiously. The child likes the mum natural and cannot understand the whole make-up thing going on. A child will see you patching up your weaves and you will instantly remind him of the witch in some comic book he read. A child will always point out anything unusual or strange. Do you ever get a child telling the mother that her dress might be too short? If a child can see it, why not you the adult. You see a woman telecasting her cellulite-stricken thighs to the world and just wonder. Such a sad sight!
Many children have a short attention span but the little things they notice will shock you. It is easy for them to detect some negative vibe. There is this chick who takes her baby to some office on a few occasions but there is this one guy the baby just does not like. Not even the “my chibubu” stuff can sway the child. To that child, something just does not feel right about him. The workmate had ideas of wooing the lady some many years back but stuff did not work out. The child is not about to allow anyone to just intrude like that.
Boss, as you chat up your side dishes on phone as you drive your toddlers to school, be sure that these children are listening. As you blush, the child will be wondering what a fool he or she has for a dad so be careful. They may not understand what is going on but certainly take notice. Shout outs to anyone with a baby on the way.

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