At least victims of crimes against humanity have a reprieve in the International Criminal Court to amend their anguish, misery, and untold agony. We, poor we, the consumers of music, have no such recourse.
But we will not wait for the judiciary to create a Court of Musicdom before we can get justice from people who have transgressed our ears with awful music. And with the release of Bad Black’s (Shanita Namuyimbwa) new song, Nkyamuka, we will now convict people like her (and others like Zari and Zuena) of crimes against music, the way an anti-corruption court did recently.
You see, Bad Black cannot sing. She just cannot sing. Period! She can make sounds, adapt them to a dance beat but that will not make it music. Sorry! Nkyamuka’s sound is terrible. Bad Black’s voice is simply out of the acceptable music range. She can’t even sing proportionally to the beat. She even sounds haggard, she sings as if she is in slow motion, and sounds like a heavy old worn out truck labouring its way up a hill in a low gear.
Fine, there is the kidandali dance beat that will no doubt get some people dancing along to her lyrics about a lover who excites her, and, haters who can go bewitch her if they so wish. Typical Bad Black!
So, we, the jury, find Bad Black guilty of gross crimes against music. And hence forth, advise her to stick to where her talents are better utilised – like being a party animal.