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Will the real love nigg*s stand up

NOT NOW: Late last week, a meme titled The Peoples’ Republic of Love Niggas made rounds on social media. The list was born from the drama that was Eddy Kenzo-Muzaata-Rema, which we wanted to believe was now behind us. On the cabinet chart were some notable faces (See Pg.2). Many ignored the meme, some reacted to it, among those A Pass, who wrote: “This is how they treat me in Uganda. They want me to dead quickly. *** Weyayu. … what did I do to you people… Why Me?” His message ended with him complaining about the position he was placed in and threatened to leave Uganda if that was not changed. Of course we could tell that A Pass’ response was a mockery of Kenzo and many people even suspected him for having created the chart. At our desk, the chart gave us a laugh and had us digging up on some of the people and their relationship statuses, writes Isaac Ssejjombwe.

A Pass

Two years ago, a boy signed up on Snapchat and on there, a boy found love. That boy? Alex Bagonza. Now if posting pictures on social media was a measure of how much someone loved you, then A Pass would win the award for best lover. The musician met his Swedish-based girlfriend on Snapchat and since then he breathes and talks Winnie Ruhweza. Before then, A Pass was crazy in crush about NTV news anchor Flavia Tumusiime and he was not shy about expressing his feelings on social until the make-up artist swept him off his feet. We wondered: Could it be because of the distance between them that keeps him setting reminders? “If he is proud of you, he won’t hide you. In other news, it is not just about marriage and the ring, it is about how you treat each other,” was the last post A Pass made of Winnie. So for y’all who have been wondering, it looks like marriage will be hanging on the shelf for a bit… at least for this State Minister for People with Disabilities.

Sipapa

In April, socialite Sipapa mentioned how he intended to marry three women on the same date sometime this year. Asked how this would be possible considering his girlfriends are from Mityana, Jinja and Kitintale, the socialite said he would use three helicopters to manage time. Fast forward, we are still waiting for preparations to begin but the more interesting thing is that Sipapa has added a fourth woman to his list of potential spouses. Of these, we are only sure of two; musicians Serena Bata and Brown Suga. The latter, a few years ago reported Sipapa for assault but that did not come in the way of their relationship. Asked how far he has gone with actualising his marriage intentions to these women, Sipapa, real name Charles Olim, said: “I will be marrying them soon. It hasn’t happened yet because I had some issues I was sorting out first,” he stated. Could those issues have anything to do with meeting the President?

MC Kats

On the chart, MC Kats is the State Minister for Veterans and Elderly and sharing the list on his Instagram, he captioned it: “Take me off your list of love nigga*s”. But sharing it meant he was in on the joke, right? Haha

Like Weasel, the number of Edwin Katamba’s children is debatable, but the emcee and TV presenter insists that he has only six children. Anyhow, to probably try and finally settle down, in 2015, Mc Kats announced that he was going to make things official with his girlfriend Fille Mutoni. The wedding was announced for February 2016, and reports we got from the wedding meeting launch at Laftaz Lounge was that the couple collected Shs20m. That was the last we heard of the intended nuptials… the rest has been fight after fight between the couple. Fille and Kats have been together for almost six years now and together the coupe have a four-year-old daughter. The two recently kissed and made up after a bitter break up late last year – what we are not very sure of is if they are back as a couple or artiste-manager.

Big Eye

From his trend, we can tell that Big Eye has a type. This one is into baSummer, which might explain why he has not settled down yet. The last time the artiste, real name Ibrahim Mayanja, was in a serious relationship, was with US-based socialite Don Zella. From what we heard, she was the one that financed their relationship and always spoilt him with expensive gifts… we are talking Range Rovers and what not. The two had a child together, but it looks like that was when their problems began because after then, stories of them getting married stopped making rounds. Since their break up, the two have not stopped throwing jibes at eachother whenever chance comes even when we hear Don Zella is in another stable relationship.

Big Eye, on the other hand, is yet to settle down, although he recently had a child with his rumoured UK-based girlfriend and he even travelled to see the child. What we do not understand is why when he returned, he released a new song titled Ndi Single. Guess he fits perfectly where he was placed on the chart — Minister Without Portfolio.

Weasel

Some five years ago, people were talking about how Douglas Mayanja has 27 children… he has since had more offsprings, so should we count more than 30 now? Lol. In a recent interview on NTV’s Mwasuze Mutya, however, Weasel cleared the air, saying he has only four known children. The rumour about the singer’s children was perhaps informed by the number of women he has been attached to and actually dated. Among the women Weasel has been involved with is a Chinese girl who appeared in their Nakudata video, socialite Samira Ahmed Tumi, with whom he has two children, Talia Kassim, Bianca Rusoke and most recently he is rumoured to have crossed borders to Rwanda and is dating a former Rwanda beauty queen Sandra Teta. Asked why he has had so many women in his life during the interview, Weasel said the girls like him and he cannot help but love them back. No surprise that he asked Eddy Kenzo if he could be on his committee of love niggas.

Pr Bugembe

The people of God might bay for our blood after reading this, but please let’s be calm. A quick google search on Pr Bugembe and love will give you these results: “Pr Bugembe finally finds wife…” “Pr Bugembe finally wedding…” “Finally! Marriage for Pr Bugembe”. Keyword: Finally! For how long have we waited for Pr Wilson Bugembe to give us a wife so that ‘these people’ stop linking him to woman after woman? Of course as a man of Gad, we do not get to see and believe much of the dirt about the good old pastor yet we cannot help but talk too. So many times whenever the rumour mill rolls, we hear that the Light the World Church pastor will be walking down the aisle, they will mention his longtime girlfriend yet details of her identity will be remain very scanty. The pastor’s elusive nature has left us with not much choice but to keep him as state minister for Ethics and Integrity. His motto will probably be: God’s timing!

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