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 “I only fear God…” Lol

Never heard a more misguided threat than this in my life. And no, it does not come alone. There is normally a lone finger pointed at the target to put it out there very clearly that there is nothing they fear on this dusty earth than God. Then they have the animated faces, the voices and everything else to prove that the person is just an overconfident coward. It is momentary, though. The task is to look as deceptively confident as you can to buy time. Who are they? Do they know who you are? You do not care how many police officers gang up around you to pin you for a traffic offence. They can come in thousands or rain a whole battalion on you for all you care,there is only one authority you fear. God! The guts, the stupidity!

In moments of madness, we have those who are calm to death, others like me who will be calling my mother for help while churning out a prayer per millisecond and the Spartans who would want to kiss death with a subtle “I only fear God”.

If I shook a table with a certain tribe on it, I unapologetically apologise. “I only fear God” is a threat I believe should only be reserved for people of a certain physical build, height, among other things. For some strange reason, I believe if you were vomited on this earth with bouts of arrogance, at least be tall. It is your only excuse to be legally embarrassing. Arrogant short people should be locked in the cupboard with the utensils and never let out, ever. But no, they will stand on tables and make threats. Aren’t they so cute? Get off the table, little man.

I am always intrigued by how short-tempered people handle their anger. Mbu “hold me, hold me before I kill someone.” No one is going to restrain you, little man adult. We shall let you go learn your lesson. I think everyone harbours a little arrogance that manifests in an argument or any confrontation. Cheaters can ‘swear they only fear God’ when they are caught in the act. It’s until they cool down and then ‘World’s Strongest Person’ will be at their partner’s gate crying to be forgiven.

So seeing MC Kats threaten a whole establishment like FAME Lounge repeatedly that he only fears God makes me wonder. First, Kats would never even threaten a primary school pupil to give up his lunchbox. He is that harmless. Secondly, why would FAME feel offended to the point of using it as an excuse to kick out the celebrated MC.

I believe we are all cowards. Some are very public about it, others have a cool way of hiding it. You walk up to a girl you like with a straight face yet deep inside, you want the whole universe to swallow you if there is a chance you might get rejected. Situations might differ, but I think if faced with adversity, always play it cool. It is never safe to test someone’s authority. You can only say you only fear God if your bail money is covered. You fish dwellers parading skeletal bodies to appear tough won’t like it.

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