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Yes we are close, but please pay back my money

If you are going to delay paying back a loan, let the lender know.
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Clearing loans: There are people who borrow money and will not be settled until they have cleared it, yet there are some people who have sat on a loan for years and are living in peace. Why? why is it hard for some people to clear a loan? Isaac Ssejjombwe sounds out some people on this.

“If you owe me money, I do not want to ask for it.” That is a statement or meme you have probably come across. Each of us has probably found ourselves in positions where someone comes to you for a cash bailout and because they say no man is an island, we are always happy to help out, with the hope that said borrower would return your cash as promised.

But have you ever found yourself in a situation where a close friend or relative borrows money, promises to clear within a certain period but you find yourself counting months or even years. Yet here you are, afraid to ask them about it and when you do, a pang of certain guilt engulfs you…what do you do? Why don’t people like to pay back money? How do you deal with such situations without destroying your relationship?

Emma Mirembe

Emma Mirembe, boutique owner

It is hard for me to lend relatives and close friends money because getting it back will be a struggle. Usually, I lend people money and they are supposed to return it with interest, which is an impossible thing to ask of relatives because they might not have it or just refuse to give it back and you cannot force them even if you made an agreement.

How can you put a friend or relative behind bars? What would people say? I would rather just give it to them than consider it a loan.

I have lost a friend because of money. He was a loaded guy who I never expected to ask me for a loan, so when he approached me, saying he was in trouble, I helped him out without thinking twice.

He promised to pay back in a month and when that time elapsed, I called him. He kept giving me empty promises and sometimes handing the phone to other people, who would tell me he was not around.

I went to his workplace several times but was told he was not around and since that time, I distanced myself from him. It was a lesson for me and from then, I vowed that if ever a friend approached me for a bailout, the highest amount I can give them is Shs200,000.

Angella Namirembe

Angella Namirembe, activist and economist

I would not feel bad if a friend or relative I lent money took long to pay back because by the time they come to me, they have a reason why they have delayed. I would only feel bad if they do not tell me the reason they have delayed.

Personally, I have never lost a relationship because of money, but I have lost trust in friends and I have found ways of dealing with them because asking for the money I lent them is something that does not come easy for me. In my mind, I know that they know they have to pay me back. However, if we did it under a legal arrangement, I would find it easy reminding them.

The highest amount I can lend a friend or relative is Shs500,000 in case they are in an urgent need for a bail out but that is only after I have done a secret survey on whether the problem for which they need the money is real or not.

Husna Musimenta

Husna Musimenta, Fashion designer

What matters is the kind of friend or relative I am lending money and how much. If it is a huge sum, I would lend a close friend, who I am sure has a paying job because they would be in a better position to pay me back.

And if they give me a clear reason why the money is not paid in time, I would understand. I thank God I have never been in a situation where I had to hate someone because they refused to pay me back because before lending someone money, we first sign an agreement or exchange something just in case they fail to pay me back in time.

That way, he or she has something to lose if they fail to pay me back. It is better that way than getting losses all in the name of friends and relatives.

Myles Ssebi, banker

It is hard not to lend a friend or relative money when you have it, and yet most times I wish they never come to me for a bailout. Twice I have fallen out with friends because they did not honour their end of the bargain.

If you come to me in time of need and humble yourself with gratitude when I help you, I expect you to carry yourself the same way when it is time to pay me back.

It is annoying how these people begin to dodge around when it is payback time, and what I do not understand is those people who actually have the money but just do not want to pay back.

For me, what matters is communication; if you are not in position to pay in time, let me know and ask for an extension for when to clear but this business of ‘there is some ka money I am expecting then I clear you’, and yet in actual sense it is a lame excuse, is utter dishonesty and breaches trust. What happens next time when you are caught in a tighter fix and I am the only person who can help out?

Money should not cost you your friendship or relative. What I have learnt from experience is to only lend an amount I can afford to lose in case the borrower never pays back.

Paul Juuko

Paul Juuko, Student, Makerere University

I cannot lend a friend or relative money for the following reasons. First of all, both parties, most times fail to reach an agreement on a timeline within which payment should be made and sometimes fail to include interest on the loan.

It is difficult to ask for money back from a friend or relative, especially for people with soft hearts, and then it also becomes uncomfortable being around that person.

It has never happened to me but in case it does, I would just keep reminding them over and over just in case they forget. Besides that, I would suggest a payment plan before giving them the loan because it is one of the best measures to have them pay me back with ease.

Gloria Martha

Gloria Martha, Front desk associate, Golden Tulip

I would lend a friend money, but I might not lend a relative because in most cases relatives never pay back. When I lend you money, I expect you to give me a period of time within which you will be able to pay back so that if you go beyond that period, I will expect you to call and explain why you have delayed. It is better than just keeping quiet and not saying anything.

I have on two occasions been in that situation and I solved it by constantly calling the person and asking them what exactly was happening. My incessant calls made them uncomfortable and they paid back, but it was not easy.

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