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Of ‘fainting humans’ and other ‘fallen things’

Ian Nkera Ford

Are you all proud of yourselves now? Just when you were focusing on being the most responsible person this year, shooting at the last of your goals for 2018, a useless trend comes and turns you into a complete idiot. At your big age, you are there fainting all over the place mbu Malwedhe Challenge.

Did you feel liberated while embarrassing yourself? Did it feel good? Are your bosses happy with you for turning their offices into a theatre? And for you the chunky ones, did you get back up or just collapse dead? Such is the craze of social media.

Anything could go viral. A celeb could fart and just like that we have a challenge. I guess we are a bored lot that will munch on anything just for the entertainment of it.

Who am I fooling? Guys, I was as idiotic as a whole lot of you. The Malwedhe Challenge came, the videos flooded WhatsApp statuses and my jelly butt was aching for a fall. Embarassing! The stains, the pain or whatever came with it was all secondary. We all wanted to indulge. Shame on us for making a fool of ourselves, but what would life be like if we all lived like a bunch of programmed robots?

At this houseparty, I dropped that viral song Malwedhe jam by the Aouth African artise King Monada and the euphoria in the place was insane. A friend gets so excited, runs to turn up the volume and falls with his head first. Timely, scandalous, necessary and funny all in one go! Served him right. A whole week spent with our backs on the floor.

To be honest, life is best lived on the edge or the floor just like last weekend taught us. On second thought, I have come to realise maybe the floor is all we deserve. We have sunk low on just about everything that it feels normal to be just there.

Fallen values, fallen expectations, fallen hopes, fallen energy, fallen everything. We are so low on virtually everything that a news bulletin is all the entertainment we need these days. A lot of funny stuff that makes you wonder what country we live in. Our comedians are drunk on content. Such is the mood.

We need entertainment for relief. Clearly other neighbouring countries are not too different. Only things that are at an all time high are the appetites for a good party, drink and muchomo. Life will be hard but someone will be looking forward to the weekend. How do y’all do it?
Did I mention that our beloved nsenene ‘Malwedhed’ all the way from heaven to make us a happy meal. Isn’t God good? I am here for it.

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