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The acute angle: The life of a ‘slay queen’!

If you are not ‘slaying’ these days, your smartphone probably has issues or you simply don’t have one, it is that simple. Get it fixed before you miss out on a “fad”. Before people started ‘slaying’, a photo was just that, a photo. You posed casually, did the simple things like smiling as you held onto a tree branch somewhere in your compound. There was no preparation, no rehearsals. A photo opportunity was never a ceremony. There was a bit of a natural feel to posing for pictures.
Today we have mercenaries called the infamous “Slay Queens”. Taking a photo in their backyard is akin to going to war. It is a do or die situation where you either ‘kill’ or get ‘killed’, no two ways about it. She will leave her heart on the battlefield, meaning she will exhaust every trick in the rule book to get a good angle for a picture. To slay is apparently to “kill it”. Basically, to kill any doubt, any competition, any hate, name it. The battle for Instagram likes and comments has never gotten any more intense. This game takes devotion. Don’t ask why a “Slay Queen” is always facing one-side. That’s her killer side where the gods of Samsung hear her prayers for a mystery dimple. A slay queen’s dimple is improvised or you can say “it comes from far”. They also know that time of the day when the kasana is just perfect for bomb pictures. She will take 30 pics before the 30th lands on social media, after a thorough screening process. That pic will be accompanied with a caption, “No filter” as if to show the world everything flows naturally. Poor people will think Nakazibwe from those old high school days is “slaying” yet she had to time the Solar Eclipse for a perfect photo opportunity. Hmm this world!
Slay queens always have so many motivational quotes to launch alongside their “hot” pics. The connection between the caption and pic is normally never there. Babe will launch some Monday motivational fire on Instagram yet quite frankly, she is seated at home braiding hair that is three months old. The nerve!
Life to “slay queens” is one giant photo filter. They will try to defect any reality away from them. You won’t know what their life looks like away from public glare. They camp at toilets for hours to take selfies at fancy night spots and fool you into believing that their world is perfect. If you run into them, you might be excused to think they just walked out of a magazine, kumbe they flung off boda bodas like volleyballers and will survive on one drink the whole night. They breathe the same air you breathe, eat the same food you do and go through the same hustles you do. Nothing special yet they make us believe otherwise. Hahaha mbu slay queens. Pleeeeaseeee!!!!!
nzamunda@gmail.com

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