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Kalumba

1.Ugandans can be such weirdoes! You find a ka chick’s relationship status on Facebook reading mbu, “complicated!” Complicated how? When has not having a boyfriend for five years despite sleeping with 25 dudes in those five years been “complicated?” Shouldn’t the status read, “anything goes so long as you have money?”

2. A chick is called Betty Tushabe but her Facebook name is  “Bootylicious Betty!” What’s wrong with us Ugandans? Are we that depressed?

3. On Bebe Cool’s Facebook page,  under the section of languages known mbu he knows “English, Swahili, Luganda and Patois!” Honestly, why lie? Bebe Cool speaks Patois? Is …Bulyomu awujje kasepiiki ke, Patois?

4. Gen Mega Dee’s Facebook page has the following message on his wall: “Those who quit never win and those who persist always win!” Hehehehehehehehe …poor chap! Shouldn’t it read as follows: “Those who know when to quit, always win?”

5. This is no joke: Ronald Mayinja has a Facebook account! Please refrain from laughing.

6. Kato Lubwama too has a Facebook account! Hehehehehe… oh…please don’t laugh!

7. Kizza Besigye’s Facebook page under the “works at” status, reads: “Why do you want to know stalker!” I had always suspected that there was something not right about our brother Besigye!

8. The artiste Phina Mugerwa aka Phina Masanyalaze aka Uganda’s Shakira, on her Facebook page under the “schools gone to” status has: “went to Springfield College Kandy!” Really? So is this spring … whatever found at Nakulabye oba in “outside countries?” Mbu Springfield College Kandy! When did a school name sound like a type of ice-cream? Kyoka abafele!

9. Straka “Baibe” boasts of 2,279 friends on her Facebook page! And all those friends can’t tell her to lose the crazy hair colourings and styles that make her look like some Teletubby high on Waragi? Straka ditch those friends!

10. Rabadaba posted on his Facebook wall: “How does one rise up and fly again!?” It was posted in November 2011 … to date no one has replied to it apart from Mama Fiina who encouraged him to visit her for “services”! Life can be hard, not so Raba?

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